He's Home

Feedback from the birth entry was fair to good, so I, Jamie (That's right, I write the creative stuff) again shall speak in "Religionese".

Book of Gabriel
Chapter 2

1 Now in the land of dry lands and no snows, there was a dark time for the manchild Gabriel. For the men who knew medicines questioned his health, saying he was not healthy for he breathed too fast and his heart murmured like Laman and Lemuel, anatomically. So they would not allow the parents of Gabriel to leave the concrete building. This was odd, for he had a heck of a time getting into that building to begin with.

2 But Gabriel knew he was healthy, for he willed himself to be healthy, and he would tells those men who knew medicines that he was healthy.

2 For Gabriel also spoke to the baby nurses and the men who knew medicines, saying: Here me speak my native tongue, for I am healthy. But this is not what the nurses and men heard, for their ears were not open, and they only heard this sound: Waah! Wah, wah, Waah!

3 And Gabriel cried with all his might using his lungs of a lion to persuade the men, but they would not listen. Rather, they moved baby Gabriel to the corner of the room so that his cries would not disturb the other newborns who were half his size.

4 And it came to pass that the men who knew medicines could no longer keep the manchild inside the concrete building, for Gabriel was healthy, and their testings could not find anything unhealthy about him, except his freakishly loud cries.

5 Then Gabriel put on his clothing of manliness and exited the concrete building under his own strength. And he took his mother's cab to his home to see his sisters, who were excited to see him. And his father watched over Gabriel as the boy played with his sisters, for he did not want his son placed in dresses like his own sister had done to him when he was a manchild. For it is not right for a manchild to wear a dress or make-up, and he would not allow such a thing to happen to his son. Ever.

6 And Gabriel sat and watched.

7 And it came to pass that Gabriel had pooped too many times, and he stinketh. And his mother did not like the stink, and wished to bath him. So she bathed the manchild while he fought this water sensation. And he screamed with his lion lungs and peed into the bathwater.

8 For Gabriel is king, and he reigneth. He shall be heard from one end of the house to the far end of the house, saying: Dang! It is crazy cold outside of Mom's belly. Get me another blanket! I'm hungry! It's three a.m. in the morning! Why aren't you up?! Weep before me! Or in his native tongue: Waah! Wah, wah, Waah!