Jamie got a sunburn in the middle of March

The conspiracy to make the children sleep.

Our trip up to Idaho was full of adventure and other cliches. We like to drive during the night so the kids will sleep. Essentially, the kids wake up from a nap, realize it is too dark to do anything, and go back to sleep. As usual, we saw a lot of deer, but not until Utah and after Jamie got pulled over for no lights on the back license plate. He got a warning, not a ticket. He sure knows how to sweet talk the Fuzz.

Anyway, we saw lots of deer and mostly on the side of the road or at least in the other. Until, of course, you get on the interstate and speed limits are increased. While approaching Fillmore, UT, Jamie sees some figures on the road. Two deer. One in each lane. Rachel gasps for air. Jamie chokes on his sunflower seeds and pees a little. The car eeks between the two animals. If the car wasn't still going about 65, Jamie would have dropped the window and given the one deer a great big and sloppy French kiss for almost destroying the family trip. Rachel would have dropped her window and given the other a "Howdy Do!" right up its backside. Congrats, wildlife. You have lowered my life expectancy by a few years. Come hunting season, it's my turn to return the favor. GAME ON.

"I do not like this color. I'm going to poop something in the shade of maize."

The weather was nice and Gabe was blessed. Rachel did some shopping; Jamie did some schoolwork. We all drove home without incident.

And then it was Avery's birthday dinner at Peter Piper's Pizza. Yeah!

"I'm five, Mom. Deal with it."

"My goal is to make you go completely gray, Mom."

"I've decided to go punk, Mom."

"You have no idea what I can do behind your back, Mom."

A plethora of busy-nesses and et cetera's

It has been a while, so this is what we've been doing. We had rodeo break last month, which entails a bunch of people taking time off to race horses and ride bulls. It was hot the one day we decided to attend a mini-rodeo.

This was the best picture Lauren would give us. Really. Her "cheese" face is a mix of pain and ADHD.

Gabe is loving life outside of the womb. He gets to pee on Mommy's bed, poop his pants, and smile without provocation.

We're headed up to Idaho this weekend to bless him. We'll see how he handles the 16 hour nighttime drive. Daddy sure loves it.

To end, we give you the Ocotillo in our front yard. It looks like a bunch of sticks placed in the ground with little leaves pasted to them. Look closely and you will understand why we refer to it as the "Trick-you-into-thinking-I-am-harmless-so-you-will-grab-me-and-then-I-will-reveal-my-cleverly-leaf-hidden-spines-that-are-all-over-me-and-will-stab-you-and-make-you-say-naughty-words-in-front-of-the-children-and-patiently-wait-for-you-to-forget-that-I-am-pokey-and-jab-through-your-clothing-when-you-get-too-close-again" evil plant.

Seriously, though. That is not a friendly plant. It looks harmless from a distance, but in the immortal words of John Cleese: "Look at the bones, man!" A leafless Ocotillo reveals its true nature.

Commence the "Ooh"-ing and "Aw"-ing

Jamie has started on a project working with Holstein steers. The project entails working with newborn calves. New ones (like born within the last 24 hrs) are arriving at the farm each weekday now. Have a look at what he deals with on a daily basis.

Only a few days old and still clean.

Misses his mommy, but he's also hungry.

When you have nearly fifty calves now and another 50 expected, all willing hands are accepted. Even Mommy and the girls help Daddy with the bottles.

Who knew training calves to bottle-feed could be so hard. The stronger ones bully the weak ones, the hungry ones try to nurse off the workers, and Jamie has to wear camouflage to avoid getting a headbutt to the groin. Camo doesn't work, other than for wiping milky slobber off his hands.

After helping Daddy with the calves, a little R&R with the 350 lb sow is pleasant.

We two kings and princesses four . . .

Who wants to hear about our latest? (Little man in the back room yells in a forced and weakened voice,"I do! Somebody change my diaper!" The Allen grandparents came for almost a week to play with the kids and introduce themselves to Gabe. We had lots of fun and took a trip to the Sonoran Desert museum (live animals and cacti, yippee). Hadley is finally opening up to the idea that getting out of bed each school day does not include a half hour of yelling at Mom or Dad to get out of her room. Avery . . . Avery is Avery: a girl you can't help but smile at every time she isn't throwing a fit. Then there is Lulu. Mommy gave her a trim this past week. Look at her cute haircut. Daddy got a trim from his Mommy, too, but he wasn't very cute to begin with. So he usually just wears a hat. Gabe likes to sleep, eat, poop, and cry. That's how the man of the house should live. Hey, if you couldn't speak, walk, or control bodily functions and it was your goal in life to sleep, eat, poop, and cry, wouldn't you be fulfilled? Oh, and Mommy is keeping pace with the children and Daddy is keeping a slower pace to Mommy. The End.

That's right, Papa. Everybody has had a chance to snuggle a sleeping Gabe but you. This kid will sleep on anybody's shoulder or chest. Now what are you going to do about it?

"I'm cute," the little girl said while trying to draw attention away from her evil lurking daddy. "That's right, my precious," the daddy cooed while contemplating whether he should get out of the camera shot or not.

The contest begins. Who will sleep the longest without needing to have his diaper changed? Stay tuned. My bet's on Jamie. Because he's potty-trained! At least, for the most part.

Oh yeah, that sucker's healthy!

So, the dirty little bugger won't sleep. Of course, this is not his fault. Constantly eating, constantly griping, constantly peeing and making personal Lincoln logs. Who has the time for sleep? These are what babies do. We're not complaining. Gabriel does them all without hesitation. He'll be a great debater when he grows up: opponents won't get a word in edgewise. He also prefers to wallow in filthy diapers rather than be changed into a new one and likes to flop his head around. And his attention-getter: "Ggeeeeee!" with a hard "G". We're not sure what it means, other than he is not a happy camper. Boy we love you, Gabe, especially at 2:30 in the morning. If either of us die of heart failure, either now or in our golden years, you'll know where it all started. Gabe, you're not in the will until you suck it up. In fact, nobody's in the will. I should really write up a will.

He's Home

Feedback from the birth entry was fair to good, so I, Jamie (That's right, I write the creative stuff) again shall speak in "Religionese".

Book of Gabriel
Chapter 2

1 Now in the land of dry lands and no snows, there was a dark time for the manchild Gabriel. For the men who knew medicines questioned his health, saying he was not healthy for he breathed too fast and his heart murmured like Laman and Lemuel, anatomically. So they would not allow the parents of Gabriel to leave the concrete building. This was odd, for he had a heck of a time getting into that building to begin with.

2 But Gabriel knew he was healthy, for he willed himself to be healthy, and he would tells those men who knew medicines that he was healthy.

2 For Gabriel also spoke to the baby nurses and the men who knew medicines, saying: Here me speak my native tongue, for I am healthy. But this is not what the nurses and men heard, for their ears were not open, and they only heard this sound: Waah! Wah, wah, Waah!

3 And Gabriel cried with all his might using his lungs of a lion to persuade the men, but they would not listen. Rather, they moved baby Gabriel to the corner of the room so that his cries would not disturb the other newborns who were half his size.

4 And it came to pass that the men who knew medicines could no longer keep the manchild inside the concrete building, for Gabriel was healthy, and their testings could not find anything unhealthy about him, except his freakishly loud cries.

5 Then Gabriel put on his clothing of manliness and exited the concrete building under his own strength. And he took his mother's cab to his home to see his sisters, who were excited to see him. And his father watched over Gabriel as the boy played with his sisters, for he did not want his son placed in dresses like his own sister had done to him when he was a manchild. For it is not right for a manchild to wear a dress or make-up, and he would not allow such a thing to happen to his son. Ever.

6 And Gabriel sat and watched.

7 And it came to pass that Gabriel had pooped too many times, and he stinketh. And his mother did not like the stink, and wished to bath him. So she bathed the manchild while he fought this water sensation. And he screamed with his lion lungs and peed into the bathwater.

8 For Gabriel is king, and he reigneth. He shall be heard from one end of the house to the far end of the house, saying: Dang! It is crazy cold outside of Mom's belly. Get me another blanket! I'm hungry! It's three a.m. in the morning! Why aren't you up?! Weep before me! Or in his native tongue: Waah! Wah, wah, Waah!

Leaving the NICU

Gabe is still not home with us. He had very rapid breathing (100, 30-40 is normal) and they were afraid of infection. So he has been in the NICU since Monday. He had to do 48 hours of anti-biotics. I don't know how mom's do it. What a sad place. It was comforting to know he is the biggest and healthiest baby in his unit though. All of his tests came back great and he gets to come home today. His last dose is around 3 so we get to have him here TONIGHT. I never had any idea how hard it would be to go home empty handed. Though it was nice to get a full nights sleep and not be pregnant but I would take having him home over sleep anytime. His breathing has regulated. They were thinking it just might have been withdrawls from my anti-depressant. He is so sweet and totally fits right in to our ever-growing, not so little family. I will take lots of pictures to post and have Jamie post them. By the way, the last post was written by Jamie, I wish I was that creative...