Oh yeah, that sucker's healthy!

So, the dirty little bugger won't sleep. Of course, this is not his fault. Constantly eating, constantly griping, constantly peeing and making personal Lincoln logs. Who has the time for sleep? These are what babies do. We're not complaining. Gabriel does them all without hesitation. He'll be a great debater when he grows up: opponents won't get a word in edgewise. He also prefers to wallow in filthy diapers rather than be changed into a new one and likes to flop his head around. And his attention-getter: "Ggeeeeee!" with a hard "G". We're not sure what it means, other than he is not a happy camper. Boy we love you, Gabe, especially at 2:30 in the morning. If either of us die of heart failure, either now or in our golden years, you'll know where it all started. Gabe, you're not in the will until you suck it up. In fact, nobody's in the will. I should really write up a will.

He's Home

Feedback from the birth entry was fair to good, so I, Jamie (That's right, I write the creative stuff) again shall speak in "Religionese".

Book of Gabriel
Chapter 2

1 Now in the land of dry lands and no snows, there was a dark time for the manchild Gabriel. For the men who knew medicines questioned his health, saying he was not healthy for he breathed too fast and his heart murmured like Laman and Lemuel, anatomically. So they would not allow the parents of Gabriel to leave the concrete building. This was odd, for he had a heck of a time getting into that building to begin with.

2 But Gabriel knew he was healthy, for he willed himself to be healthy, and he would tells those men who knew medicines that he was healthy.

2 For Gabriel also spoke to the baby nurses and the men who knew medicines, saying: Here me speak my native tongue, for I am healthy. But this is not what the nurses and men heard, for their ears were not open, and they only heard this sound: Waah! Wah, wah, Waah!

3 And Gabriel cried with all his might using his lungs of a lion to persuade the men, but they would not listen. Rather, they moved baby Gabriel to the corner of the room so that his cries would not disturb the other newborns who were half his size.

4 And it came to pass that the men who knew medicines could no longer keep the manchild inside the concrete building, for Gabriel was healthy, and their testings could not find anything unhealthy about him, except his freakishly loud cries.

5 Then Gabriel put on his clothing of manliness and exited the concrete building under his own strength. And he took his mother's cab to his home to see his sisters, who were excited to see him. And his father watched over Gabriel as the boy played with his sisters, for he did not want his son placed in dresses like his own sister had done to him when he was a manchild. For it is not right for a manchild to wear a dress or make-up, and he would not allow such a thing to happen to his son. Ever.

6 And Gabriel sat and watched.

7 And it came to pass that Gabriel had pooped too many times, and he stinketh. And his mother did not like the stink, and wished to bath him. So she bathed the manchild while he fought this water sensation. And he screamed with his lion lungs and peed into the bathwater.

8 For Gabriel is king, and he reigneth. He shall be heard from one end of the house to the far end of the house, saying: Dang! It is crazy cold outside of Mom's belly. Get me another blanket! I'm hungry! It's three a.m. in the morning! Why aren't you up?! Weep before me! Or in his native tongue: Waah! Wah, wah, Waah!

Leaving the NICU

Gabe is still not home with us. He had very rapid breathing (100, 30-40 is normal) and they were afraid of infection. So he has been in the NICU since Monday. He had to do 48 hours of anti-biotics. I don't know how mom's do it. What a sad place. It was comforting to know he is the biggest and healthiest baby in his unit though. All of his tests came back great and he gets to come home today. His last dose is around 3 so we get to have him here TONIGHT. I never had any idea how hard it would be to go home empty handed. Though it was nice to get a full nights sleep and not be pregnant but I would take having him home over sleep anytime. His breathing has regulated. They were thinking it just might have been withdrawls from my anti-depressant. He is so sweet and totally fits right in to our ever-growing, not so little family. I will take lots of pictures to post and have Jamie post them. By the way, the last post was written by Jamie, I wish I was that creative...

The Case of the 9-pound Baby

THE BOOK OF GABRIEL

Chapter 1

1 And it came to pass, that the woman entered the concrete building at her appointed time, the Friday before MLK day, to be inducedeth. But the head wet nurse said, "Nay, thou shalt not stay for this inducing, for the linoleum rooms are full, and thou doeth not have priority to have thy baby at this appointed time."

2 So the not-so-virgen maiden departed back to her home, angry at the wet nurse for not calling her the day before and telling her not to get up early to get ready for the appointed time that did not follow. And again while the maiden stewed within her mind, a phone call came from the wet nurse who guarded the linoleum rooms. But her news was maddening to the maiden, saying that there would be no room for her or her baby boy at the concrete building.

3 And it was not good, but the maiden's mother was there to console the maiden's madness, while the baby's father stayed away at school waiting for the smoke to clear. For this man knew that it would be his fault, regardless of his helplessness and the wet nurse's evil intents.

4 And then the next day came, for it was Saturday, and the movements of the baby did not cease. And the belly of the maiden squeezed at inconsistent times. So the maiden went to take a bath to help calm her womb's uneasiness.

5 And it came to pass that the voice of the baby Gabriel within in her womb spoke to the maiden while she soaked, saying, "To hell with this, woman! I'm comin' without that woman's approval." And he sent a little fluid as a precursor for the woman to see. And he caused the maiden's womb to squeeze to a rhythm.

6 And then maiden came from her bath and told the man with whom she loved, "Let's go. He's comin'." And the man, who was nearly asleep at the time, for it was the afternoon of a lazy Saturday and he had eaten a large lunch, awoke and took his fair maiden to the concrete building.

7 And to make a long story short, the baby Gabriel came from the maiden's womb later that night and cried and whimpered, for he was big, and nobody would tell him not to make such noises. And now all is well. For Gabriel is already nine pounds heavy, with feet the size of Sasquatch, and hair the color of light brown.

8 And it came to pass that the family rejoiced in the coming of the baby Gabriel. For he was here, and was about darn time.

9 Let it be heard: BEHOLD! Gabriel reigneth over the Allen household.

No Baby

Just a quick little update.. We have been back from our trip to Idaho for a week now and we still don't have a baby. I just want everyone to know how nice it was to be home in the snow for the holidays. We got dumped on a couple of times while there. On our way home we realized we could have just gone 4 hours north and had 5x's the snow. On our way home we drove through Flagstaff and I woke up to Jamie almost sliding into the guardrail at 25 miles an hour. The road were so bad, we got down to 15 MPH, I was freaking out so much I had constant contractions until Phoenix. I was sure I would deliver on the side of the highway at 4 in the morning and the roads were so bad nobody could get to us. All that didn't ease my tention at all either. My mom will be here Thursday night and we go in Friday to be started. Hopefully I , and Gabe, can hold out that long. I'm really starting to freak out. 5 days and we will have our little Gabe, are we ready??? NOPE! Also, I can no longer say I have been changing diapers for over 6 years non- stop. Lauren has been in panties for 3 days now. She did wear a pull-up to church but I get a week off from changing diapers until Gabe arrives. She tells us everytime she has to go potty, sometimes she is half finished before we get to the potty but she is recognizing it. I just decided to go straight to panties and not give her an option. It's working. I have yet to venture out into public with her, we may do pull-ups then as well just to be on the safe side. So now everyone knows the latest. Sorry it isn't much! Also, Congrats to Julie, we are hoping for a sister for Cutter!!!